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I had to put down one of my Great Danes on April 20th. She was the love of my life. She had bloated about 5 days previous and had made it through emergency surgery with flying colors. She was 8, but her only problem was arthritis. We brought her home and she was recovering well. Then out of the blue she stopped eating and seemed uncomfortable, so I rushed her back to the ER. Her abdomen was full of air and it appeared that her stomach had ruptured. Instead of putting her through another surgery we opted to put her to sleep. We had also found out that she had lymphoma, as they had found a mass on her spleen when they were in for the emergency bloat surgery, but she wasn't yet sick from it.

I can't believe I chose to kill my best friend. What if she would have made it through that second surgery?

What if I had her stomach tacked when she was a puppy? She wouldn't have had to have emergency surgery and maybe she'd be ok.

How do I get passed these feelings of guilt? Everyone tells me they would have done exactly the same thing, but that doesn't make me feel better. I can't even look at her pictures.

I feel like she wasn't ready to go. I miss her so much.

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